


Flight Club Interlude

by Stormraven24



Category: Green Lantern: The Animated Series
Genre: Angst, Death Wish, F/M, Mental rape, dark thematic elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 21:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormraven24/pseuds/Stormraven24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they separate from the others in "Flight Club", Aya and Razer have a talk. Later, they come to understand each other a little better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight Club Interlude

This was a bad idea. I knew Aya couldn’t handle being exposed to those yellow crystals much longer, but I just had to go and volunteer to get her to safety. Alone. By myself. Great thinking, Razer. I’d honestly thought about just leaving her in the office and rejoining the others, but something in her eyes wouldn’t let me. Ever since that little misadventure on Zamaron I couldn’t look at her the same way, not since I learned that she had stolen Ilana’s face for her own. How could I have been so stupid as to not notice the similarities? Her ignorance and innocence in the face of her transgression didn’t help matters either. They made it harder to stay angry.

“Razer, may I ask a personal query?”

I should have known physically distancing myself from her while she recovered from the effects of the stones wouldn’t stop her attempts to try to make her wrongs right. Part of me knows that she truly meant no harm, that she had nothing else to base her appearance on besides my memory of Ilana. But the less rational side wants nothing more than to ignore it altogether, an immature notion that by pretending nothing is wrong the issue disappears, a habit from childhood that I’ve never been able to break entirely. Unfortunately, I couldn’t just ignore her. “What is it, Aya?”

“I have been replaying the visual and audio data I collected on Zamaron. Are you still angry with me for basing my physical appearance on the likeness of your love, Ilana?”

I didn’t want to talk about this. “I’d better go see how the Green Lanterns are holding up. Without their rings they’re almost less than useless.”

“Razer, do not walk away from me.” I turned back in pure shock. When had she developed such a bite to her words? “I know that what I did was upsetting to you, but as I told you on Zamaron it was not my intention to cause you emotional pain. Your memories of Ilana were the only time I had seen a female being, and as such was the only frame of reference I had acquired when I built my physical body.”

“In case you don’t recall, I never asked you to invade my mind in the first place. Those memories were private!”

“I would not have done so if there had been any other way to save you.”

“Then you should have left me to die.”

“Your life was and still is more valuable than your wish for death. I will not allow you to succumb to your grief when there is still a chance that you may be saved.”

“And what if I don’t want to be saved? What then, Aya?”

“Irrelevant.”

“It’s very relevant!” It was at that moment that I realized that there was indeed so much more to her than mere circuitry and hardware. She was just as irritating, just as arrogant as Hal Jordan and Kilowog. But she also had that annoying stubbornness that came with being an AI, refusing to see past cold logic and calculation.

“Explain.”

“What?”

“Why do you place little value on your life? It has been my experience that sentient beings do anything they can to protect and continue their own existence. Yet you wish for death. Why?”

I swear my brain must have stopped working for a full minute when she asked that. Too many thoughts, too many angry retorts swirled around in my mind and not a single one could make it to the forefront and out of my mouth. My instinct was to answer with the truth, but that was still too personal, too hurtful to say aloud. I made the mistake of holding her gaze, and saw in her eyes so many things: determination, frustration, sympathy, and an eagerness to help. The fight in my heart fled at the sight of those eyes, so like yet unlike my beloved Ilana’s. I sat down in the chair at the desk on which she lay and sighed. “It’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I could try.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

“The simplify it.”

I almost laughed. She really wasn’t going to let this go, was she? “Let’s just say it’s the only viable way to atone for my sins.”

She looked at me curiously, as if looking right through me. It was…unnerving. “That is only part of the truth. You have suffered much pain and loss in your life, Razer. I know you do not wish to experience more of either.”

“What would you know about loss, or pain for that matter?”

“I have observed them in others and have run various internal simulations in an attempt to recreate such emotions. They are not perfect as I am limited by my programming, but from the information I have gathered I do not want to experience either at all.”

“Well, we don’t always get what we want in life.”

“Precisely.” She gave me a pointed look that silently threw my earlier words back in my face. “All statistical probability indicates that I will experience negative emotions in addition to positive ones as my functions continue to evolve and expand. However, it is common across multiple galaxies for positive emotions to be given more credence and appreciation because of, rather than in spite of, the negative ones. I am an artificial intelligence. I will never experience emotions as you do, but that does not mean I will let any negative feelings I may one day experience to consume my functionality. And you should not either.”

If I’d ever been surprised by her before, this time took the proverbial cake. She spoke and acted in absolutes, her logic never flawed. Of course, she had learned to adapt and modify her behavior in her attempts to be more ‘human’, but she was still essentially a machine. And yet she was so much more. Stubborn, kind, willful, strong, _alive_. The Star Sapphires were idiots to call her a ‘thing’. I couldn’t stop the small smile that came to my face as I realized this. “You really are a Green Lantern, aren’t you?”

She tilted her head at me, her luminous eyes losing their hardness. “Thank you, Razer. But you have not yet answered my original question: are you still angry that I have based my facial construct on that of Ilana?”

Good question. Was I angry about that? Or that she had been in my mind in the first place (a grievous invasion of the most intimate kind)? Or was I simply angry for the sake of being angry, so that the pain I had felt for so long would be suppressed for a while longer? A long moment passed before I finally let out the breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding; Aya never once pressed for an answer. I mentally added ‘erringly patient’ to her list of attributes. “No, I’m not angry, Aya. I was at the time, but not so much anymore.”

“That is good to hear.” She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the desk with a fluidity that a part of me envied (and another part found fascinatingly beautiful). “I do not like being the cause of another’s distress, particularly yours.” That surprised me more than anything. It shouldn’t have, but it did. Only Ilana had ever shown care for me, and even now Jordan and Kilowog only tolerated my presence because I had proven useful in the past. But Aya… I tried to fight down the rush of heat to my face, but failed miserably. Thankfully, Aya didn’t point it out. “I have repaired 98.6% of the microfailures caused by the yellow ore.” She hopped down from the desk, again with that smoothness that was intrinsically hers. “We can rejoin the others provided I avoid the crystals from here on out.”

“Aya…” I don’t know why I called out to her as she stepped out the door.

“Yes, Razer?”

Those eyes. Those exquisite, soul-baring, damnable eyes. I had to look away. “I…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what I said earlier, and on Zamaron. My reactions were uncalled for.”

“On the contrary, your reactions were understandable if illogical. You are a rash and impulsive person, but never without justification. There is nothing to forgive.” How is it that she could mock and comfort me in the same sentence? “Do you forgive me? For what I did to cause you pain, even unintentionally?”

I had to smile at that. I couldn’t remain angry in the face of such unabashed innocence. “As you said-” I put a hand on the metal joint of her shoulder out of pure instinct, perhaps some misguided attempt to offer comfort to her in return “-there is nothing to forgive.” The smile she graced me with was a thing of beauty. I made a silent promise to eviscerate anyone else who dared call her a ‘thing’ or something equally as insulting. “Let us find Jordan and the sergeant. They are probably in need of rescuing by now.”

 

**_After Atrocitus’ defeat…_ **

****

            “Razer, may I speak with you for a moment?”

            The tone of her voice caught me off-guard. I’d never heard Aya sound nervous before. “Of course, Aya.” She turned and walked down a darkened corridor, one that we use only for minimal purposes. Her eyes cast a glow on the walls before she dimmed them. She stopped around a corner and looked behind me to see if we were followed. Odd. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

            She hadn’t looked at me the whole time. That should have been my first hint. Well, my second; the first was her voice. She sounded scared. I didn’t like that one bit. “I wanted to apologize.”

            “For what? Aya, what’s happened? You’re not behaving like yourself.”

            “No, I am not.” I really didn’t like this. “After my…unpleasant encounter with Drusa and Atrocitus, I have come to better understand why my previous actions regarding my intrusion into your memories were met with anger.”

            “Aya, I’ve already told you there’s no need for you to apologize for that.”

            “Please let me continue.” Did I already mention how much I _did not_ like this? I didn’t know what to do to help ease whatever trouble she was suffering. I hated feeling so helpless. “When Drusa had control of both my physical body and my mainframe within the ship, it was…I felt…” I dreaded hearing the next word, but knew she had to say it for herself if she were to purge it from her system. “Violated. I was not in control of myself and I could do nothing to stop her. I could only watch as I was forced to fire upon you and Green Lanterns Hal and Kilowog. I…”

            I did the only thing I could think to do: I pulled her close and embraced her as if trying to take her pain into myself. Was it my imagination or was she trembling slightly? “Why did you not mention this sooner?”

            “I did not think the experience would have affected me so greatly. But as time went on, I found the thought of being controlled by someone else replaying over and over again in my memory banks.” Her arms were like vises when they lifted around my waist and returned my embrace. I didn’t mind. She needed something to ground herself from the negative emotion and I was more than happy to be of assistance. “I…I never want to experience something like that again.”

            My imagination must have been on overdrive. I couldn’t possibly have heard her voice shake, nor felt the moisture seep through my uniform where her head rested. But when she lifted her eyes to mine, there was no mistaking the tears that fell down her cheeks. Just the sight of them made me forget how to breathe for a moment. Anyone who still held to the belief that AIs had no concept or perception of emotion had never met Aya. I brushed her tears away and held her head firmly so she couldn’t look away from me. I wanted her to know that what I said next was absolute truth. “Aya, I promise you: so long as there is breath in my body I will never let anyone hurt you like that again.”

            “But you will not always be with me when we are on missions. How…”

            “It doesn’t matter. It will _never_ happen again.” And I meant it. I would do everything in my power to keep her from reliving that kind of violation. “What you did, going into my mind to save me from Myglom’s torture, that was not the same as what was done to you. What Drusa and Atrocitus did was detestable and unforgivable. Yet another reason to hate them both.” One look into her eyes reminded me that she didn’t need my hate right now; she needed reassurance and comfort. I never thought I’d see the day when a robot would have need of either. “But it is over. You are safe.”

            Today was full of surprises, but where the majority of them were unpleasant, her sudden embrace was a most welcome one. I held her close for several long moments and found myself unwilling to end it anytime soon.

            “Aya, Razer. Where’d you guys go?” Jordan always did have the most perfect timing. I glared at my glowing ring as if I was looking right at the insufferable Green Lantern. “We’ve got a situation out here. I need you both back on the bridge ASAP.”

            Aya and I were left in shadow again when Jordan cut the communication line. “I thank you, Razer,” she said softly. “I believe I understand you 0.09% better than I did before this conversation.”

            “And I you, Aya.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> These two are so much fun to play with, but I'm not too pleased with how easily the show passed over discussing the aftereffects of Aya being controlled by Drusa and Atrocitus. That kind of invasion and domination is basically rape. Given how sensitive Aya is, I couldn't just let the whole event go unnoticed.


End file.
